Going Under

What is this life without you
Gone into the abyss so blue
Disappearing a dark shadow against waves
Everyone telling me your so brave.
They come by my house hands full of food
Like since your death that would be in my mood
Sitting in front of a mirror chewing its essence like a light
I would rather go down without a fight.
I watch the children play on the swing
They always remind me why I wear this ring
Their eyes so full of life and love
Makes me curse whatevers above.
I ask myself are you gone because of me
I wonder why there are times I do feel free
My soul will soar high into the sky
But other times I just want to die.
My confusion ends at the end of everyday
When I watch them sleep their lives away
And I know their dreams are full of wonder
This is what keeps me from going under.

This World Inside Her mind

To fake the silence and the pain

She sits alone in the smoke

He sees her smile not her shame

Not one meaningful word spoke.

They stumbled through the crowded bar

Her hand against his hand

They kiss without love in this cramped car

She knows what he demands.

Is this what I dreamed about

She asks herself in vain

Knowing swimming in these doubts

Only causes more pain.

So she closes her eyes as his hands touch her skin

She imagines being lost at sea

Waves so blue they wash away her sin

And for once she will be happy you will see.

But Then The Rain Came

A cat waltzed down the street,

It's tale high in the air,

It's glowing green eyes sees everything,

But the rain doesn't seem to care.

It's trickles down my face tonight,

My skin as hot as day,

I lifted my head to the forgiving sky,

Wondering if I could fly away.

A full moon sat mockingly in the desperate sky,

It's face as white as snow,

I looked away not wanting it to laugh at me,

And embraced what the wind had to show.

I walked down the street afraid to see,

A future I was not certain to be,

But I would have to face it for me,

And maybe for once I would be free.

A Dance in the Night

She dances alone in the moonlight,

As the song bird catches her hair,

The stars shine so bright,

But her heart beats with despair.

A mind of logic disappears,

For pain she can not bare,

She is left with tragic fear,

Her midnight eyes a blank stare.

Once these wrinkled hands held love,

And touched a many souls,

These eyes saw beauty as she looked above,

Now they are empty and old.

But dance she may as the wind whispers,

A name which one night will be lost,

The wind so cold it makes her shiver,

The leaves a gentle frost.

"Goodnight my love" the wind sings,

As she dances into the trees,

Upon her back grows wings,

And forever she will be free.

Light and Dark Once More

There is no time in the sun,

Only light and dark,

When one life ends is it done

Or can we ignite a spark?

To be born alone in this mess,

Travel the earth for this soul,

Sometimes I wonder I must confess,

Does this pain have its toll?

Why do we feel such loneliness,

With billions of us here,

Why can't we embrace

Instead of causing such tears?

Why do I feel such hatred,

Toward others here with me,

I wish I could knock down this barrier,

That never should be.

Let me hold you before I die,

And never can I touch you again,

Let me see it in your eyes,

The places that you have been.

Then maybe as the sun sets,

I can release all my pain,

Into the water and let it wash

Away this ugly stain.

The Hate She Gave

Once a girl stood by the side

And watched the city burn

The fire rose so very high

And she knew it was her turn.

So she made her way into the flames

Allowed the fire to consume

The little bit that was left to blame

For the hate that enveloped the fumes.

Could it wipe away

The violence she so dearly created

Was it us to make her stay

And walk into this fate?

So let the fire rise so high

And smile at your just ways

Let the smoke float into the sky

As long as you get to stay.

The Frightened Little Sparrow

The frightened little sparrow refused to fly

As the cold wind rushed past his tree

He stood on the edge shaking determined to try

To force himself to fly free.

He lifted a wing felt the wind blow fast

But his fear began to soar high

He knew there was something hidden in the past

And he ceased any chance to try.

So there he stood afraid and alone

The branch so high in the air

He stood so still his feet like stone

And his heart full of despair.

Who is he a sparrow who can't fly,

All the others would be ashamed,

In his heart he wished he would die,

But who was he to blame?

So night strolled in with the vicious wind,

And the sparrow stood once again on the tree,

A determination filled his once stricken heart,

And a new hope would set him free.

At The Gate

The little child sits and waits

His angel said he would be back

The rain gently fell at the gate

As he asked for the courage he knew he lacked.

A glistening moon cast a shadow this night

The childs heart cried silently out

He knew at first light

What this angel would truly be about.

Would he fly down and violently take

His soul or would he finally find love

Is there such thing or is it a mistake

Maybe there is nothing above.

My Monster

Should I spend one more sleepless night,

Wondering why we are here,

When others can't see a single light,

Upon this endless collage of fear.

Should I ask what is it I stand for,

When a blanket of doubt is in the way,

I try to push my way through the core,

But still I can't find day.

Should I cry when I see the suffering,

Of the endless number of poor,

I try but the pain is too much,

And cynicism laughs at my door.

Should I hate myself for doubting,

A freedom we fight to save,

I can't help but wonder,

Is everyone that naive?

So hate and doubt still linger,

So many nights in my soul,

Its grown into this monster,

I find difficult to control.

Yet inside this beating heart,

I still feel compassion for this human race,

Maybe this is a start,

Is hope still left in this place?

The One From Nowhere

Standing by the bar I see you there

A lonely dark figure from nowhere

Your pants too tight your hair a mess

Your life a little less than extravagant.

I wonder where you came from

Is it hot there

Are you happy to be here

Or anywhere?

Are you as sad as me

Maybe lonely

Lets have another drink

To be happy.

I cried only once in the bathroom today

Maybe in a month I could be happy

Could it be you with your half crooked smile

That could help me forget for a while?

So I lean against the wall just to get away

The crowd overwhelms me most days

Their empty talks about their empty days

I can see you trying to get away.

Come stand next to me I want to say

But I watch you as you walk away

That smile still remain is it real

Do you feel what I feel?

And Then There Were Flashing Lights

The flashing lights come from everywhere

And I see you standing there

Do you know its me that stares

Someone in this shallow world cares.

I can see that you are shy

And that tonight you cried

I see a tear still in your eye

Will it hurt just to try?

I approach you as the song plays

Let the rhythm carry us away

To another day

Where together we could play.

Yet this night soars of a distant cold

And I know we are far too old

To dream of something this bold

So my extravagance begins to fold.

The flashing lights continue to sing

They remind me of everything

That I use to bring

And that I was something.

A Tribute Poem To Elliott Smith

To sit in the scene
Watch the waves crash against the land
To wonder what's been
Happening or where to stand.
You see the man
His shadow cast in the sand
And you try to understand
What is it he really holds in his hand?
The sun shining bright
Making us dance so happily in the waves
Yet this place lacks a light
And a reason not to cave.
So here we are
Two lost souls trying to find a way
You pick up your guitar
Can't find yourself but sing anyway.

What Have We Done?

The old man sitting in the rocking chair,
Wonders what happened to the world out there,
He use to wave to the woman next door,
But no one waves back anymore.
Every Saturday he would go to the mall,
Watching people short and tall,
Now all he sees are looks of hate,
He asks himself is this our fate?
He goes to the grocery store every Sunday at Nine,
He remembered a time when the floors would shine,
And each aisle was placed with homemade things,
When farmer's would sell their fresh vegetables at Spring.
Now all he sees are industry labels,
And cleaning supplies advertised on cable,
He has difficulty now loading his car,
But no one asks if he needs help anymore.
He wonders how much effort it takes to look away,
From your fellow human being in needs these days,
To worry about how you will stay,
In the hundred thousand dollar home anyway.
So he sits in the rocking chair watching time pass,
What is now pavement use to be luscious grass,
He misses the time he heard the birds sing,
Now all he hears are the sound of alarms ring.
He sighs as another day ends with the setting sun,
And feels helpless in this lost world and asks what can be done?
His answer comes as the stars fill the sky,
Yet not even his tears can explain why.

For You

I want to say I am sorry
For the moment that I missed you
And for the days that I abandoned you
Or simply did not understand.
For the times I was not there
And the days they hurt you
Or the days that they hated you
Or just did not care.
I wonder why
My heart is so open to you
The one who can not see me
Or even comprehend.
But you see that I feel
Such love and compassion
Such understanding and inspiration
For the one who no one cares.
I want to take you
To a place where they will love you
A place where they will touch you
And for once you can feel.
What joy is what complete comfort
That everyday they will be there
To hold your lonely hand.
But that world does not exist
For someone so helpless
For a soul so pure
And for that I can not understand.
What kind of society
Will let these people hurt you
Let these people hate you
The one who does not understand.
But in my heart I will protect you
A place where I can place you
And you will never get hurt.
Just know in this cold world someone loves you
Wil cherish and hold you
Even though you don't understand.

Is there something you want to say?

If there was something in the moonlight
That I could carry with me
To keep me from the horrid fright
That has a tendency to fill me.
If there was something in the sun
That could embrace my soul
Take away from
The pain that takes its toll.
Is there something in this wind
That speaks in another tongue
And tells me when
I am no longer too young.
I want to break free
From the hussle of this very day
And look in the mirror at me
Just this once decide to stay.

Let Me Breathe

She sent me a letter here
Told me to meet them
I tried to erase my fear
I knew where they came from.
It was so dark inside
My heart was pounding
I ran and tried to hide
They quickly found me.
Holding my arms down
I peered into her eyes
My thoughts made me drown
And the fear made me cry.
My head was spinning this night
I felt it slip away
No longer could they hold my life
In her veins I will stay.